heyoz..

anyway today is friday...good friday some more...
ok woke up early today like 0830am...
took shower and went out with family...

went to toyota showroom to book a new car...just to book a damm car we took like 3 hrs! god! and when i was there...i decided to buy the TOYOTA YARIS as my personal car soon..once i start workin..haha!
and my dad and mum were like naggin at me to go get my driving license...so if everything is ok would be gg on monday to register for it...

ARGH!!!! im so stress.. my modules are so heavy and stressful...i have exams in june and im yet slackin..

that day when i was in the train returning home from school...there was this sec school kid who board the train and sat beside me..she opened her chemistry book and was reading on compound and molecules...wah...i was like thinking this chapter is so easy and god it brought me back all the sec school memories and its onli 3 pages we need to noe..

those times we need to memories facts which were spread out ove 3 pages onli...now we need to memories facts which are spread over 30-40 pages...i pity my brain...

OH yeah then comin back to today's topic...after bookin the car we headed down to yishun to watch kavadi procession...today is some day similar to thaipusam...
OMG! i realli feel shy to be an indian when i see the way the indian gals and guys behave...

i saw like boys and gals whom look arnd sec 3 or 2....piercing their mouths with long...and long as in almost 12-13 cm piercing across their mouth...and gals TOO! omg! and instead of being devotional and prayin for their vows to be fulfilled...i saw them standing in a grp and talkin...OMG! they spoil indians reputation..and some guys will purposely pierce all over their face...some of them worst will compete with their friends...who can pierce more hooks in their mouth and body! GOD! i hate it!

PLEASE INDIANS REFORM...change the society! dun damage it! im sorri for those emotional indians who read this...but yeah...

im glad i dun look like a typical indian...and none of my family member or my cousins have the typical look...! hahah!
yeah anyway tats abt it! i betta start meetin up with alot of pple....b4 im doomed...

DD and MD im meetin im meetin u gals soon...dun kill me...!



My whole life seems to be like a dream..haha...for the past few weeks...ive been livin in my own world.
not being aware of anyone..anything around me...in short...im been a numb soul

i sense you being with me..
i sense ur romantic touch..
i sense ur romatic look...
i sense ur calmness..
i sense ur gentle warmness...
i sense ur beautiful smile...
i feel you callin out my name from a far away place...
i feel u puttin me to sleep..
i sense u when i wake up
i feel ur lookin at me wherever i am...

i enjoy this..but wil it stay forever...can it?


OK DAMM! i noe im not that retarded saranya...i dun care...believe me..im so immuned to everything around me..i just feel like im in a world of mine..i think im mad..
damm...dun ask me who is it cause i myself dunnoe who and what im thinkin abt..
sick..im totally sick in my brain...
i cry for no reason..i laugh for no reason....

OH GOD! save me..i nvr wanna be like this..
i feel everything and everyone is givin and lookin down on me..
or am i just imagining...damm...

i just want to be normal...

may god bless me....

im so mad with everything around me.
im so mad with my dance class la! i feel so fucked up joining it!

i have been learning dance sincee 4yrs old and yea im in the senior class but its so upsetting to noe that i dun get wat i went thru for all these years...
there is a performance on the 19th of april and all the gals are practising and all the nice dance pieces are goin out to all the favourites of my DT! as usual..im always given some fucked up Sc*** up dance step behind.
my sister is the oldest in the class and she gets all the things..pieces she wants..this is totally unfair. DT does not even bother she is so F***** bias for all i noe..im so mad...she will onli put her favourites in front row and me and some other gals will just enter the stage perform abit and leave... practically it seems like we are dancing for the sake that we are in the class...i dun see any sincerity shit!

i mean yeah im fat but im sure i perform better than some gals there its just that u dun see it cause ur eyes will never move at any other directions except them...u wan me to perform with my sis and u give me the black face like im not capable...WTH! WTF u wanna do...myself i dun perform at all....if that makes u so happi.


FUck sia..im sorri for my offensive language but if u were in my shoes i think u wld have just quit for now..im realli in the urge to quit.. but i realli wanna do my dance debut for learning so many years...people ask me how many years i leaning i proudly say for 14yrs but deep inside my heart i feel like i just joined the class from the way u treat me....'

DAMM!...
im sick and im mad....
god please save me....



tats it...i had enuff frustrations pout out already....anymore else i will punch the screen...
im that mad now...

im realli ought to kick myself...
im upset now..

DD and madie are pissed with me...
my school is killing me..
my homework is piling up...
my lecturers are gettin more hectic...
there is politics in everything and fuckin everywhere i go!

damm and my fuckin tagboard is missing
i dun bother wat u all think abot me being so vulgar here...
i dun have much freedom as anyone...
im mad ..
totally mad...

my months...days...mins...secs are all lookin back at me....



Fucked up life is this i call....
neva get into a shit like this...

Labels: f***

HEY!its been realli long since i blogged almost a month.! anyway this blog is gonn be long and boring but I dun care!



OK 10 feb was my BRo's weddinG! it was a blast! damm great! BRo as in cousin brother! out 1st cousin in our generation ok! yeah and we cousins had planned a reception for it and all the cousin's had to perform! yeah! so fun! the performance was all suspense no one knew abt this. even my mum and dad did not even noe that im dancing! haha!

yeah the wedding was in the morning! and the RECEption was in the nighT! oMG! as i typpe this out all the memories comes out. how we all use to rehearse secretly in my granny' house.,..damm its over so fast....


OH ya anyway we all shall be meetin up kinda soon...miss all my damm cousins..SIGH!

You've just stepped onto my territory.

I'm just a little nobody...
Saranya
18
26 August 1989
Single