ive been pleasing people around me too much which can reali suck. im aint a clown to do that. ur angry and i must like sit down and clown around with u? oh please u got the wrong person i guess...





my dad has been complaining that ive changed in my character and that i dun seem interested in any thing! he says ive become more cunninG!! omg! daddy!
its not anything like that...its just that:

when im alone: i think about too many stuff and my face will look constipated

when im tired: i wun talk much just sit down and look blur at everything

when im angry: wun utter anything...i will look angry obviously!and anyone who comes near me
will get nice vocabulary lesson from me!

when im stonin: i will end up smiling to myself!

haha all these seem retarded but yeah! and i dun EMO! omg no no no! and im not a EMO queen oh please! i just love dark things! i love to be in dark areas and i love NIGHTS alot!wohoo!
anyway yah!and these past few days i just dun feel like talkin much except for people who call me or come and talk to me..even i wanna call someone i will think twice! i seem so dull these days..mainly thinking about my results and some other "stuff"

i just dun wanna be like this..i wanna be the old saranya w/o any problems and carefree..a family oriented gal who is so jovial and cheers people around her..but now..i just make myself so aloof from everything...results are comin in no less than 2 weeks and i dunnoe wat is the outcome..
my sis just got her degree results and she passed and now all the pressure is gonna be on me! i have my last 3 papers of my CAT and next year i wanna move on to ACCA and finish it soon! oh god save me..and i dun seem to be praying properly. usualli i willl pray b4 sleeping but nowdays i just dun and even i go to my altar i dun pray properly......i wanna be out of all these..my motivation seems to be lost!oh man! i go school also i dun feel like attending lecture and even if i attend my concentration is elsewhere! ARGH! it sucks!

onli the god can save me and onli i can save myself! im just too worked up about trivial matters and i think too much about wat people will think of me! and when i try to cheer up someone i get bushed back in return and it sucks! i never had gone thru this kind of a hassle! everytime i see someone lookin at me ..i will be wondering wat the hell are they thinkin about me! i just think too much! but i cant help iT! damN!

oh man! god saves me..and this cousin of mine has been in a bad mood for the pass few days!hopefully he is ok by saturday and turns up for the party!

i miss:

DD and MD
My sec school Friends...the 5B gang with sabby....and also Kert troupie!
COUSINS!!!! (1st and 3rd)
=)


wat the hell!
school is killin me!
the modules are tougH!!!!and the people are gettin more weird there!
apprently gossips show tat one of the student has a crush on the admin gal! EEW!!!!!

so brief abt weekends:

friday: met my darlins dd and md! went to NYNY at city link! its was a nice place la and the food was good!the cheesy chicken damn nice...wohoo!

saT: mummi's convocatioN! my mum was too excited..running around clicking pictures around..me and my sis and dad were so hungry during the ceremony..wanted to like sneak out for snacks...but yeah gave up the idea! then rushed back for dance after that! super tiring...and then at nite the ramalingams decided to go for supper to celebrate sis bdae and mum's graduation...omg we went hunting like so many places but ended up near our house..crapped till late nite and came home to sleep!

Sun: morning had dance after that .............COUSINS!!!!! OMG! went to meet my cousins at my granny's home! was happening! cabbed with sangee there..then crapped with cousins! and as usual my two ultimate bullies...ruben and GOPI were there...poor me! was fun la..then later...me and gopi decided to go walkin...so got our asses off...went walkin around the whole ah hood estate! talked abt some stuff....hmm...it was then i realised alot of things abt my cousin..GOPINATH! wacky fella but nice..and dun worri u dun look like a GANgster!
yea then stayed till 0958 for 2 min silence for my granny as tat was the time she passed away last year and after than all of us left! sangee followed me and my sis back home..we went for supper and crapped till 12+...sigh! it was fuN! LOVE THEM ALL!


TATS ABT IT! MORE UPDATE SOOn!

many things happen for a shitty reason!heheh!

well this week went kinda ok..nuthin much so interesting except for my sis bdae! which is gonna be celebrated over the weekend.this weekend is pretty much planned.

saturday: mum's convacation in the morning and dance in the evening and gonna celebrate mum's graduation and sis bdae.

sunday: gonna meet my COUSINS!!!!YAY! granny's 1st year death anniversary..omg its like so fast and its 1 year.she was a legend who lived and realli suffered her whole life but at the end she passed away peacefully and she left with bonding all my wonderful cousins together and now all of us are so close and loving towards each other. thanks granny.rest in peace.

yeah moving on and the following sat will be my cousin's 30th bdae bash! its a surprise together with something even more surprising.hmm...sounds cool ah!

anyway am like in school just slackin away and im gonna meet my darlins in a while!ya!hahah!
tats abt it! nuthin much! my life is not as interesting as it use to be a few months back and its becos of some shit! anyway hopefully my life gets interesting soon!..


PS: i will have to move away and stay away from u..lets do it soon. or else i will hate u even more. my feelings for u are already fading. maybe i shd not have told u?! hmm....makes me wonder...

ive been getting too much of negative vibes from the people around me and i dunnoe why! its so sickening cause it realli hurts and they dun even noe how much it does!
when im too happy something happens and i will be sad and when im sad too many happi things happen and i will be so happy!watever!

yesterday went to FTC kaplan to get my revision kit with clowny cheryl and shiva decided to follow us so together we three went there and got it!heheh! but its super ex and i have no choice but to get it! movin on the 3 musketeers went to MAC cause shiva was hungry so yeah ate and crapped then nothing much to do ....we walked to plaza sing had to get some stuff...sadly could not find it so decided to go school and slack..mani was there so three of us went and yeah true enuff we dun like mani studying so we had to spoil it!hehe! then stayed in school till 7+...had to go farrer park to the temple for some meeting shiva decided to follow me and yeah both of us walked to clarke quay and train-ed to farrer park and went to temple waited for my sis and it was retarded cause our meeting was like held outside...our coordinator make us go all the way there just to show the saree colour DAMN!

after than shiva me and my sis went to KOMALAS to have dinner...hahah shiva was too hungry to talk!heheh!walked to bus stop and me and my sis went back home...so tiring! but once i came back home...some political issues in my home made me pissed! damn! yeah then was on the phone with my cousin till 12+..and then continued with KV for a while and yeah tired so switched off my phone and Zzzz..

things are happenin for me but its just does not seem to go tat fast and i kinda isolate myself these days from many things!

sigh...

is goin to a private education institution a downgrading issue? WTF!evey single human being deserves to study and due to some mishaps they slip their way and go out of route is that a big mistake?

This is a real life shit that happened to me just now.I was on my way to school and this stupid volunteer at the temple saw me in the train and so we were like chatting away and stuff!for all i noe she is cunning and arrogant and that is wat every volunteer tells me so i just behave aloof to her!
this is the conversation that happened at one point?



lady: so where are u gg now?
me: school
Lady: where u studying?

Me: FTMS global school

Lady: is there such a school? i nver heard about it? (sacarsticallY)

me: yeah there is such a school or else i wun be going there

lady: so u mean ur in a pte institution ah? omg! why u fail ur Os ah?

me: (IN MY heart: FUCK U BITCH!) i did not fail..just did not do so well to go into jc and i was offered a design course in poly but since im not a design student did not bother accepting it....and i rather do a course which im flexible in.( reluctantly)

LADY: oh ok...my daughter studied veri well went into JC and now she is NUS doing arts and social science!

Me: (in my heart: Like wtF i did not even ask u la) Oh ok...

Lady: she's smart la and she noes how to study on her own and u see ...she made me proud!

me : (FUCK U LA!) oho k...hahah..

Lady: i think going private is not good and i think like those who fail and never study properly will go there..and not onli tat i hate students from private school..i think they have no future!

me: (MIND IT BITCH IM A PRIVATE STUDENT) no not necessary! its depends on individuals...not all those who go there are dumb and fail maybe they find it more flexible for themselves? anyway dun have a misconception that private is so low classs they students still study they dun club around there....this society will never reform till all of u kind of people change ur thinking....im sorri if im rude but yeah!



got pissed off ...got down the station that came by! and took the next train to raffles!
fuck her la! like who even asked her about her damn daughter please la! private schooling is like going to contract AIDS for some idiots out there!some of the private institutions have courses which are more better than poly courses la..im not telling this just becos im in private and i need to support private..i also fuckin hell had wishes to go poly but some shit happened and my Os got screwed and im here!is it a crime.. dun people like change and move on to something more better in life.. afterall whether u do a accounting course in poly or private..at the end of the day its the office performance that counts! everything has its pros and cons! im not telling anything negative about going Poly or Jc..i also blame myself for not doing well but at that time i did not like pray to screw my Os! oh please can u all like change ur mentality! im not tellin to like bow and pray to private students!SIGH!!!! im talkin about others...who noes man even my friends or family would have looked down on me.!


screwed!




WADE ROBSON!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! oMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!

Many things happen for a reason i guess..

so today day started off with clowny's message..as usual she could not get her ass of the bed to go school so it was lonely journey to school for me!anyway then reached school and two pigs were there SHIVA and MANI! to make me laugh as usual! three of us went to class together and there is this particular indian gal who stares at ..i even wrote abt it in my previous few blogs! yeah she was starin at me agaiN! not happi i guess! so lecture started and sitting with these two crackos was a mistake....laugh and laugh and i guess the lecturer got kinda irritated...we were like writing notes and eating sweets and etc...and when the lecturer mentioned the word break the 3 of us were the first to run out!hehe!

and after break some questions were given and i was doing it faithfully gorging my whole brains out and thanks to shiva to nicely copy it and laugH! pIG!haha!yeah so lecture ended FINALLY!!!! went out to eat with shiva...mani is on diet i guess! shiva was like tellin me about his ex relationship and all the shitty things the gal did to hiM! OHH sad sad! so i was aunt agony a lil and pacified him!hehe!hmm...he needs some other "enlightenment" i guess!

yeah mugged in school till 5 and left the "lovely" schooL and once i came back home....POOF! flat on the sofa! tiring man! the train journey can realli suck and standing for the whole journey is even more suckier! GOD!


i hate tampines interchange..i got a weird feeling that someone is following me or lookin at me everysingle time i go there!!!! EEEEEw weird!
hehe....tats abt iT! gotta go do hmwk....tml have class at 0645pm...sad sad! MANAGING FINANCE!!!!! oh god! i cant even manage myself ...how can i manage finance?!


my life starts well...
ends pretty swell...
many things are unspoken...
till the day when i met u...


many things were answered....
u stood there for me....
got into everything i got into....
showed me that ur the one for me...
everything went well....
till i came to noe u hated me...


why this act for?....
was it cause you think i betrayed you?
betrayal sucks and i noe
no matter wat you should have tought for yourself...
but the options are open wide with me...

this is not somethin i grabbed upon...
its the truth that comes from my heart..
when u read this...
feel the guilt...
how is it like being avoided by..
dun tell me u noe how i feel cause u aint me...


dun try to pacify me with ur sweet talk..
it does not work out with me..
try it on some other fool who is willing to hear...


i told u wat i felt and wat i liked about you
you agreed and now something makes u neglect..
i noe im fickle minded....i cant decide....
i admit and i realise my mistake....



in all ways....
and...
afterall i was the one who instigated you..
im sorri...



and even if thinks dun work out....
i told you i am willing to stay at a point in ur life as a guardian....
stop betraying me and trying to act u are concerned....



cut the act...
you cant act....
if u dun like me..tell me....dun waste my life...
watever.....
ure still an ass....

-RIP-




SARANYA RAMALINGAM!!!!!!!!!

ok this sounds weird but after like 18 years i realised tat i actualli have a nice name!hehe! i dunnoe i was staring at my name and then i was happi tat its not a real typical indian name!hehe!esp the NYA!hmm..thanks to my mum and dad for being so creative and namin me after some stupid actress!

anyway ive been bloggin pretty much alot these days!i always avoid blogger.com but yeah its just happens!AT last me and cheryl made a point to get our ass moving to get our work done! met that clown at TIC at 0930 and went to the library...slacked for a while crapped around and started doin our work! as usual tat clown laid down her whole bookshop out and did her "thesis" i realli get entertained around her! sorri cheryL!haha! my tution also got cancelled so i came back home!

im lovin school these days and i dunnoe why maybe its the gang of friends i have i guess! hmm...makes me wonder! and some upcoming events in my family sooN! esp the date on 020808!
im kinda freakin out at the same time cause my results are like out on the 180808!!!!!!!! OH GOD! im scared man! its like b4 my bdae somemore...i wonder whether it will be a sweet 19th or sour 19th! all depends on my results!omg! hopefully i pass all! god save ME! and this kukoo cheryl keeps counting down!! piG! hmm...so all those who wanna meet me better do so b4 18aug..cause after that i dunno wat will happen!

Hmm...dancin has been cancelled for me and my sis tml so kinda happi after wat happen! SICKENING...ok i shall not talk abt it cause its gonne hurt me even more!
yep tats abt iT! nuthin much more...






wats new in life! the retarded lifestyles and weird pple tat u come across each day!
and at raffles place its never new? its like lookin at babaric people in formal office clothing! and guess wat they have the typical mentality! book ur seat by placin a tissue paper there! stupid! and u all call urself educated!

this is wat my friend and i did..we went to a food court at raffles place...so typically it was crowded and we saw two seats with tissue paper..my friend just kicked off both the packets to the floor and we sat...the lady came and said "i booked this place with my tissue" and i just turned and told her..." we did not see any tissue paper on the seats when we came and u dun use tissue packets to reserve seats" and there went her face and her food tray finding for another place...stupid!please la...

irritants!anyway movin on..i shall blog abt myself and my current affairs...for this week nothin much..some internal home shellings for me and i realised how much place i have taken up in their hearts..im realli mad..sigh..im just gonna live for myself and not for any other loser out there! idiots!

school has been ok and there is this particular indian gal who loves to stare at me and i dun even noe for watever reason la! bitch! stare as if im like gonna kill her..even during lecture she always peeps to see me! argH! pay money come school and study! dun loook look all!swine!


ps:if my sis is the holy soul for u get her and cry ur whole life with her...stop givin me or teachin me for the sake of doin so! i did not join or rather im not those who can curry flavour u! if money and being rich pays u say so! i will just flung the dollar notes at ur face! u tried to get hold of me to do shit for u and ur gratitude is much appreciated least by me! sick U! im givin u all the respect u require but u think everyone around u is greater then me! fuck ok! just aint bother....i will just learn and graduate with my whole heart! i can just do wat ur senior students do to u but i wun cause im not babaric like them! u will realise soon who was the one who did it to u! im not askin u to praise me or aint proving im saint! just realise it....

lil updates abt my cousin's wife's bdae bash! kinda weird i guess.yeah anyway was like last thursday at this place called MAD pizza! its a nice place to slack and my cousin is planning to have a surprise bdae bash for my other cousin there! bleah!the initial plan was to like go clubbin! which would have been so much more funla! just like tha last time..sigh! anyway its oK! yeah the pizza there is realli good and its so fillinG!yeah had a few drinks and laughed alot till teared!hahah!yeah came home fast cause had class the next day! boring!

yeah so for friday was like draggy abit! had school at 10 in the morning and till 1 was like counting down! at 2 met my friend....ate at SUBWAY!!haha! ok it was not as bad as i tot oh maybe my friend has a good taste when comes to food!hahah!yeah then slacked around crapped around till about 4+...and then went back to school and like used the comp till 6+...just nice to get my asss movin to class! and i must say my lecturer is gorgeous man!hah! ok tats weird but yeah she's pretty and shes super nice! yeah till 0945pm...then my royal family came to fetch their royal princess back home!hehe!

yeah tats about it and my weekend was boring but somehow managed by watching tv and playin on the comP!saturdays are usually burnt in my granny's home and sundays just flies by fasT! oh yeah and saturday was my darlin's bdae!


HAPPI BDAE MAGDALENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
19 yr old swine!

oh yeah..and went dinner with my dad yest and my dad was like tellin his romantic love story abt my mum to me and my sis! omG! so weird la! and their first love gift was a broken 2B penciL from their D&T workshop la!hahah! laughing my ass off and they use to hate each other and use to fight in class like crazy! so ironical! fight so much and hate each other so much but in the end they got loved by each other and also known as the BRODERICK couple by their friends!heheh! cute!sigh and he also was advising me and my sis on how to catch guys!OMG! imagine my dad to tell me and my sis! weird!hahah! well we shall see whther my catch is a good one soon!hahah!
yeah tats abt it!


School is starting and im kina freakin out to go school..i dunnoe why..cause i have mad peolple there and not onli that when i go school it gets remind me of my results and all my friends who will be reviewing on their sorrows on how they screwed their papers! aRGH!



and not onli tat being in this school is not as fun as being in singapore school...i mean being in a school with foreignors.u can never trust anyone well and its a language problem that kills.which i hate and yeah more sickening shit happens!sigh!

anyway now since ive started school i aint gonna bother.all i gotta do is to finish my diploma and get my ass out of this school. i just wanna start working but my dad will like kill me if i do tat!haha!yeah so and not onli that i feel that my brain has like drained out tis years..like nothing is going into my head la! argh! okok!i shall be glad that i can even study as some kids are not even fortunate to study like us!hehe!

ive been enjoying my days during the last week of holidays onlie! the other days were like bleagH!haha!
okok tats about it nuthin much to blog...onli when something interesting comes up!haha!

You've just stepped onto my territory.

I'm just a little nobody...
Saranya
18
26 August 1989
Single